20 posts tagged “pets”
11x14" oil on panel, I wish you could see the details in her black hair, but it is very subtle and didn't photograph well. Anyways, finally was able to make up a bio for her...
Lady Eugenia (1480-1544)
Daughter of a little known diplomat and his stage actress mistress; she
had published her first novel at age 15, thus becoming an amusement of
sorts within literary circles at cafes and parties. Her short marriage
to a Lord and travels to their many homes around the Continent provided
the material for what would become her second novel - fortunate for the
Lord he died of consumption before reading the unflattering portrait
she portrayed of him. After many failed affairs with renowned writers
more than half her age, she retired from writing after her 9th book,
and fled to Scotland where she purchased a small cottage. She never
wrote again, and instead collected stray cats
Yesterday I was at the outdoor mall that pretends to be a city (Cracker ass Cracker Park), and there I was: Prada purse, Prada shoes, Starbucks in hand, and Sephora bag slung over my shoulder. What happened to me!? My 15 year old self would be wailing on my ass right about now. I think I need to go set some fires, graffiti up city hall and mug some junkies for fun or something, just to counteract this feeling I'm having. Ick.
By the way, no signs of a recession here kids. At least not in my little pocket of the city. Cleveland friends are getting jobs within a month of lay offs, no parking at the mall on a Friday afternoon, restaurants are packed (went to 4 tonight until I found one that didn't have a ridiculous wait time), and people were buying art last night as I made the rounds of various exhibits. Freaky, huh? I'm sure you have read the WSJ article (which I don't completely agree with and a lot was left out) and in comparison, we have this video. If anything, the truth is that this town is a mixed bag; I suppose it depends who you have as a tour guide.
Speaking of art, went to lay out the show opening this Friday. I was going to show some more sneaky peeks, but I though this photo of Spike the gallery cat was all I needed. He picks out what he wants when a show is going up you see. At first he went directly for the portraits of cats I will be exhibiting, but in the end, he settled on "Mrs. Turner".
Hey we need some more current photos of Milkshake around here! I know, you were dying and needed a fix -- very understandable...
As some may remember, he was a jail bird last year for Halloween. This year husband wanted to get him one of those pumpkin costumes from Target -- not gonna happen! I think since we have no real plans I will just let Milkshake do what he always does when plastic bags are around: get into them, wear them as a dress (or cape, maybe he thinks he's a super hero) and strut around as if he were a supermodel in the latest fashion for a good hour or more.
New portrait, "Anya" 5x7"...
and I know you are probably sick of me posting pictures of Milkshake -- no wait, I take it back -- NO ONE is ever sick of Milkshake, and if you are, someone must have urinated in your eye drops or contact solution because that's the ONLY way you could ever find pain in viewing all that is white and fuzzy. Anyways I'm only posting this photo because I thought it was funny to see him clearly trying to imitate an old painting of mine...
Seriously, he was trying to reach his back leg, he had a slew of poses he was trying out. What a weirdo.
Another year of you being a needy, destructive, selfish, manipulative, high-maintenance, overall complete jerk who never lets me sleep and keeps taking massive shits in the bathtub instead of his litter box to make a big production out of it while wiping poo skid marks all over the newly mopped clean floor. But you're still pretty darn cute, and you know when to turn on the charm -- especially for the ladies.
I never really paint cats, but being that Milkshake is popular why not do one of him for practice? I've been told, by more than one person who has met him, that between the eyes and overall expression that it totally is Milkshake...
You can purchase this little 6x8 inch painting for only $65 over at www.bellavendetta.etsy.com. Milkshake is after all an internet sensation! He's been on CuteOverload, ICanHasCheezburger and even Gawker! So I was thinking to myself, maybe since he is so popular that i should start a little fanzine about him the way you had in the 70's with the teeny bopper idols. I actually had one dedicated to Depeche Mode that my now-husband brought back from England once for me when I was about 12 years old; I totally cut out the pictures to put on my walls and loved it. I also remember finding one dedicated to Shaun Cassidy at a thrift store, and it was hilarious! Just pictures of him on set of the Hardy Boys and crap about his favorites foods and stuff. Shaun liked popcorn best if you were wondering.
I don't really have money to do a mini print Milkshake Fanzine, but that would be so awesome. I'd probably sell more copies of those than all of my art prints put together. Well, maybe I should just let you in on some of his favorite things...
You may or may not know, his favorite food is Mayonnaise. No lie! A close second is cheddar cheese. He also has two favorite bands; The Libertines (maybe because he is a little punk) and anything with Rod Stewart on vocals. Again, no lie, as we have run experiments to determine this. You're probably wondering if he has a girlfriend? Sorry ladies but yes he does, but she's more of a Real Doll type than anything. She's a stuffed monkey named Snowflake.
Tune in next time for more fun facts about Milkshake.
Is this the face of EVIL?
I haven't done a Milkshake related post in a while, and he is after all an international celebrity. This week he was up to no good...as usual. Besides the fact he now refuses to use the litterbox and only drops bombs in the bathtub; he bit my tongue, which has yet to heal and hurts when I eat; he bitch-slapped husband, making a huge gash on his nose; and the little monster managed to give himself roids, no doubt due to him being agitated all the time and holding his poops in. I think he is getting stupider as well. His loss of grace and coordination, along with the fact he chases and attacks his own tail, cannot be good signs. How often does your cat fall backwards off furniture because he lost his balance? It is a good thing he's handsome, because he ain't too bright.
Odd happenings going on here at Casa Vendetta:
My cat won't stop humping his plush monkey doll. He does it twice daily now. He is neutered, and I don't think that is normal for a cat to be such a sex addict when they are neutered. He makes a very loud weird purring noise when he does it and doesn't care if people watch him. He is a deviant! Dogs I can understand, cats, not so much.
My next door neighbor was just taken away in handcuffs by the FBI. They asked my husband to identify her, and there were lots of them in our hallway for quite a while. I never liked that woman. I knew there was something not right about her and thus avoided talking to her. Especially when I found out she was going door-to-door borrowing money from the elderly tenants to buy cigarettes. FBI means serious shit, I wonder what she did.
Due to boredom and too much coffee, I now play a little game when out interacting with the public. Especially when a stranger talks to me for no reason, and I really didn't care to talk to anyone in the first place whilst running errands. I call this game "most ignorant woman" where I lately have just said the stupidest stuff to strangers to see what their reaction will be -- all while trying not to laugh. I don't plan, I just roll with the conversation, and some pretty funny facials expressions have come out of it. For instance, the other day I'm in a check out line softly singing the horrible "Crumbelievable" song from the Kraft cheese commercial. I know it is based off the EMF song "Unbelievable", I went and saw them play with Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine once! I don't know why I did this, it was so mean, but I guess I just wanted to see what would happen:
Woman in checkout: Oh I used to love that EMF song
Me: huh, oh no I think it is a Kraft cheese song
Woman: um, well yeah but it was based off the song by EMF
Me: EMF?
Woman: Yeah (her facial expression was priceless)
Me: Wait, I think you mean that band REM, and I know they never did a cheese commercial
Woman: No, ugh, wait, no that band EMF don't you know?!
Me: (in irritated valley girl voice) Like, I have no idea what you are saying to me right now (and proceeded to pay for my things).
I'm sure she's told her friends all about it. I just had fun annoying her with my supposed stupidity. So then yesterday, I didn't mean for this to happen, but it was just so easy. It was MLK Day and I went to the post office to get mail from my PO box. The actual office part was closed for the holiday of course. As I walk out with my mail, and guy walks in and states,
Man: Oh boy, I forgot that it was Martin Luther King day
Me: Who?
Man: (with the most dumbfounded look) Martin Luther King Jr.
Me: Oh yeah, I forgot they have holidays for those moon astronauts now. (and I continued walking out).
That man stared at me through the window as if I were the dumbest gal on earth. It was hilarious.
It appears that both super cuteness and fame run in the family...of my cat Milkshake. I've already talked about Milkshake and his brother Spike over here, and today was super exciting because we found out that Spike has now also become a world famous "lol cat". As Spike's daddy said,
"At first I thought it was just another black cat in a sweater, until I noticed that my dinning room is the background"
Here is Spike modeling a fisherman sweater his momma had him try on for 10 seconds, and the caption someone else made for it....
