Saturday May 31st, I will be attending the reception for "Ladies First" at DvA Gallery in Chicago. I'll have two paintings up, in addition to other artists like Nicole Steen, Emma Mount, Genevive Zacconi, Jennybird Alcantra, Lisa Petrucci, Sunny Buick and more. Come out and say hi! I was to have these two in the show...
I buy weird stupid "luxury" items I don't need. I just do. Okay maybe not the wasteful kind of stupid, like an expensive car or hair extensions. But you know what I mean.
I never really did before, but because I live in a cheap city -- and am not doing too shabby -- I figure get the things I want now while I'm young and can enjoy them. I've been rich and I've been poor, so I'm gonna get mine while I can. As I've discussed before, I have expensive taste and this can be a problem at times since I'm nowhere near loaded. I also am a walking contradiction; I swear like a sailor, but think it rude to not rsvp to a party promptly; I'm very picky about my wine and dinner pairing, but I'll eat a corn dog from the gas station; I don't care if you can see my bra strap, but chipped nail polish I'd be so embarrassed by. You know, little things like that.
So with this I started going over in my head how I balance the lowbrow with the highbrow. You know with $4 gas and a recession and all. Those little sacrifices, the choices I make in order to be fabulous, while somewhat embracing the ornery side of life. Here are just some examples:
Coffee: I was going for the fancy stuff for a long time, flavored and all. I'd go to the Westside Market to get my banana nut flavor (Mondays it is $3 off a pound you know) or I'd breakdown and buy the burnt-to-shit Starbucks stuff since there's one by my place. Guess what baby, I'm all about Eight O'Clock now! Actually I started off with Eight O'Clock but thought I could do better. I'll be honest, this stuff tastes the same as any other burnt-ass Starbucks shit you get...
Underwear: Yeah I did the Hanes four-packs and the cheapo crap they have a Target (Merona might work for the boys but not for me). Guess what? Even washing by hand they still wear out faster than they should. So my little luxury is buying the stuff that lasts and doesn't give me itchy-butt syndrome -- who else but Calvin?
Household Cleanser: Kaboom is shit. Trader Joe's all-natural is shit. Soft Scrub is shit. CLR works great on grody fixtures but should be used sparingly. No honey, there's one cleanser that works better than all of these and you probably have it sitting there doing nothing...
Be sure to get rid of your gross sponges. Dish cloths work fine and you can reuse them after running them through the wash. Gotta clean the glass on your mirrors and windows? Use newspaper, not paper towels, it is actually better.
Alcohol: This is one area you shouldn't skimp on if you don't want to be ill. Guinness is my mainstay besides an assortment of microbrews. I always keep champagne on hand too, I prefer it to any white wine really. While Trader Joe's does have some cheap choices, I prefer this Spanish one...
I know I know, technically it has to be of France in order to be called Champagne, but I find them too bitter. Of course when I'm tight on cash, here in Cleveland, we have an assortment of cheap watering holes. Fridays are $1 drinks for the ladies at 5 O'Clock Lounge and I'm a fan of happy hour $5 martinis at Pier W when you're not in a slumming mood and want to feel fabulous -- but for God's sake don't eat there or you'll feel broke and hungry!
Beauty: Now here I do mix the high and the low. I do get facials, and I do buy fancy shampoo from Aveda, I do get Frederik Fekkai hair cream, I do get fancy perfume (especially after my Victoria Beckham fiasco!) but to off-set this I went back to using a face cream that I don't know why I stopped in the first place. Maybe again, I thought I could do better. Listen ladies, unless you can afford La Mer -- which is amazing from the samples I've tried -- pretty much everything is the same no matter what anyone tells you. So do yourself a favor and just grab a tub of this baby...
might I also add that this is great for zits and stuff too...
Yeah! All you need now are some old-timey hair rollers and a shower cap and you're set! Screw Mac, screw Nars, screw Estee Lauder, I can tell you that Sonia's line for Target is as good as any. And yes Vaseline is awesome. Baby oil is awesome. Witch Hazel is awesome. Castor oil is awesome. Gold Bond is awesome. Learn 'em and use 'em.
Entertainment: I don't have cable, don't need it. I get Netflix because at least I can choose the shows I want to watch. I can also get full episodes of shows on the web for free the day after they air. I have a cell phone I pre-pay for because I hate cellphones and only use it when traveling, I don't pay for voicemail, because I don't want you to leave me messages on it or call me on it period. Going to the movies sucks these days; after the woman who did the running commentary next to me killed the suspense in No Country For Old Men, I prefer to just got out with friends and drink at cheap watering holes or to people's houses and movies together. I won't go to a concert if tickets are more than $22, it's just my own rule because I know how fast it can escalate when drinks and buying merch are thrown in. Art shows are free, and they have booze and food for free. Dance clubs are stupid, stupid for people like me because I'm too old, married and jaded to go to them. If you have a friend who is a private investigator, cab driver, or a tow truck driver; go on a ride and get some free hilarious entertainment better than any comedy club..
Travel: Traveling to San Francisco last December was an extravagance I normally don't get to do, so for the remainder of all my "vacations" I like to go on the cheap where no one else goes, or if they do, they're retired folks in RVs. I consider it getting to know America, and you should try it. You've probably seen my little travels where I could afford them here and here . This year we had originally planned a big trip to Kentucky...yes Kentucky because it's awesome! We were gonna do this and this, but alas the fundage wasn't to be. I'll be staying at the most awesome porn set of a motel outside Chicago this month since I couldn't afford to be in city -- but I think it looks neat in a creepy way! Since Kentucky is out, this summer we're going to Grand Rapids and Kalamazoo. Yes our home state of Michigan. So if you want a cheap vacation without a headache from tropical drinks, go ahead and hit some of the breweries we plan on hitting. Also why not go cheeseball instead of Club Med, who doesn't want to stay in a themed room hotel in Kentucky? Or a super retro cheap beach town in New Jersey? If you can drive, do it, because flying bites. Also, Travelodge motels are awesome no matter where you are.
Shoes: I can tell when I got a cheap pair of crap; they fall apart, are uncomfortable or look okay at a distance and then up close you can tell they kinda suck. I have one pair of shoes from Target, I bought them for work because at the time my company had a very un-stylish lot and I figured blend in. But no more! That's one thing I won't skimp on are my shoes. Neither will my husband, he has more than me, but his excuse is that as a runner he must swap them out in order not to get injured. Sure I never wear my fancy ones because I'm scared of ruining them, and sure my leopard heels are too high and yank at my foot arch -- I don't care, because everyone points and says "oooh I love your shoes!". I have an arsenal. I don't think anyone has ever seen it really. After a dream I had, I'm buying these lovelies today. I think shoes over a certain price is just stupid, it is a matter of pride sometimes dammit. While I'm sort of peeved at Prada for making $400 shoes that crack and don't hold up well to everyday use (luckily I got them at half-price), I do love Kenneth Cole, Charles David, Stuart Weitzman, Ralph Lauren and even unknowns like Arturo Chang. Husband will be getting the last of these before they get discontinued...
and I just got these puppies...
I needed them after all, I have three dresses hanging in my closet and have been waiting years to get the right thing to go with them. Art takes time you know. And to offset these purchases? No going out all week, and when I do go out, it will be for a $1 beer on Friday.
New graphite chicky-poo "Lara", 7x5"
Also Greg Holston down at Mahan Gallery was nice enough to take some more accurate photos of these two pieces...
"Baron Luca and Baroness Elizabetta of Moravic, 18x24"
"Galliano Corset" 18x24" 
I also still have this tiny gal for sale, I lowered the price since she isn't framed. Please help fund my desire to see both The Boss Martians and The Bellrays this week here in Cleveland.
I love Mary Blair. Her concept art of Disney was always amazing. Now these come up for auction...WANT
Speaking of Disney concept art, aren't you glad this scene never made it into the original Snow White?
Bill Presing is a comic artist and story artist at Pixar. I'm in love with some of the images from his book Belle de Jour, and may have to get myself a copy...
Ben Walker is an artist out of Sacramento, he really likes cowboys and bears. I just ordered his book and can't wait to get my hands on it...
Hey, you know besides being a comic, film actor, and having a distinct mustache -- Martin Mull is a damn fine artist. I've actually known this for about a decade, but every time he had a show in L.A. I was unable to go for some reason, kinda ticked me off really. He uses a lot of imagery that is sort of 1950s meeting paint by numbers. Me likey. He is in several museums which is quite a feat for anyone, let alone this guy.
Well not really much going on here. Just found out I'll have some work in the next edition of Eye Candy From Strangers. It won't be out for a while but it should be a kick ass edition indeedy. Which makes me wonder, what ever happened to the Project Polar book that was supposed to come out, like, forever ago?
I'm being added as a resident artist at Artery 717, and may be having a solo show sometime this fall in Madison WI. More to come on that. In general I'm kinda peeved I can't travel around for a lot of out-of-town shows. I have been dying to get to Art Whino Gallery and was hoping to go to the comic art show coming up in July. Alas, it ain't happening, both fundage and vacation time-wise. I will however, be at the DvA Gallery show on May 31st in Chicago. I don't know who these artists are that can afford to fly all around the country for shows, especially the group ones where they might sell one or two things. After your motel/plane ticket and all that stuff, it kinda cancels out any profit doesn't it? I'm only going to Chicago because I want to get out of town and go to the Weiner's Circle. Love the bright green relish they got, you know.
In other news, finally after many years I got an email list sign-up on my website. I don't know why I didn't do it before, kinda stupid really. So scroll to the bottom and sign-up honey. I promise I won't spam you or send you pictures of my cat doing naughty things -- unless you're into that sort of thing.
Made a new little painting, all within 3 hours. This was due to an overall cluster-fuck of coffee, candy, steak, seltzer water and who knows what else...
1. waste of time
2. super expensive conferences and seminars
3. they hate mannerists
4. they bow to the altar of Sergent, hence why all the work looks the same.
5. member work featured -- simply hideous.
6. the president calling me to tell me the Smithsonian will sue me for my show title, despite not knowing the the hell she was talking about or having done any research on the matter. Not to mention she sounded like an overall moron (other countries have portrait galleries too besides the US-- duh!) and if that's whose in charge I want no part in it.
7. did I mention it wasted my time?
8. a hideous newsletter that my husband would throw out because he couldn't stand the art in it. Having it sit on the coffee table was offensive to his eyesight.
9. did I mention it all looked the same? Cheeseball is what it was.
10. south western inspired art or portraits of children with ugly toothy grins in predictable poses - 'nuff said.
11. I SO didn't fit in with the whole thing.
May 5th, I share my wedding anniversary with Cinco de Mayo, the Kent State shootings, and Ian McCulloch's birthday among other things. Hubster and I have been married 7 years (been together almost 8). I'll feel better once we get to 8 years however; it'll mean not only did we beat the national average, but we'll have lasted longer than he did with wife #1. Yes, everything is a competition with me. But I suppose it is a good sign we talk all the time about what we'll do party/trip-wise for our 10 year anniversary. Maybe wife #1 will stop using his last name by then!
Hubster has now fulfilled his dream of becoming a model (well not really a dream, but something on his to-do list). My pal Shannon -- who had me model and do a painting project in her book AlterNation -- has a new book out called How To Knit In The Woods. And looky who shows off his rockin' sideburns for a shot?
He actually had his hair cut since, but still, I think it is pretty funny. No, he didn't get to keep the hat. Maybe this will lead for more gigs for him? He is after all, super skinny, which makes anything look good on him (calling Merc and Ben Sherman!). Maybe I should be his agent.
UPDATE: Speaking of models, I've just been told I'm somewhere around page 68 of Craft Magazine. Doing what, I do not know, but I'm sure I was snapped with no make-up and unwashed hair.
Mrs. Turner, 11x14" oil on canvas
