Getting Older, It Kinda Blows

Turning 30 was not so fun. Well it still isn't fun, as I find I am particularly uninspired for the time being and put away all my art supplies for a while. I'm the gal that cried when she turned 22, so yes -- I am that depressed about it. On my birthday, husband asked if I wanted to go hit Heavy Metal karaoke night. My response was something like, "but people might say I'm too old for a chick to be in a place like that and they'll laugh at me". I had a little party with friends, and as I dressed for it, I realized I looked like one of those Telemundo M.I.L.F. women who host the "news". Big hair, leopard print everything, and spike heels (which were quickly changed into something more mild). All I was missing were the hoop earrings and the French manicure accented with diamond tennis bracelets. Christ. I always had a fear of being one of those vulgar women that tries too hard to act younger than she is; granted part of me will always be vulgar in different ways -- it is just who I am. At least I've now made peace with certain aspects of my personality; thank God I surround myself with friends who either compliment these aspects, or are just really forgiving...perhaps entertained even.

So I've reached a point of panic as it were. I got marriage out of the way; am never having kids; don't need to think about climbing the corporate ladder; so then what really? My choices popping in my head were things like getting another tattoo; buying a motorcycle; giving up art; starting a gallery; going crazy Vanishing Point style; getting a Master's degree; moving to another state yet again; or buying property. Well, I have made some appointments to look at condos -- yes I may actually tie myself to one location -- so it is kind of scary but I figured I'm at a point where I should own some real estate and it happened that hubster got a promotion this week. What I'll do for a down payment is another matter, but when a mortgage is less than my current rent, it only makes sense to try. Suburbia here I come!